Introducing Death Insurance

You define the criteria, and when the time comes,
we bump you off when you aren't looking!

A great gift for friends, enemies, aging siblings!

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You don't want to be sitting in a nursing home with no idea where or who you are, being fed through a tube, and a colostomy bag attached to drain it all out again. You have always thought this way, and have told all your friends and relatives so. But what happens when all the things you said you wouldn't want to live with happens?

You either don't know it because you are too decrepit to know what is going on, or worse, you know what's going on and you have no options for ending your indignity and suffering. All states allow advance directives, but these only prevent your healthcare providers from prolonging your life. Even without dialysis and breathing machines, artificial resuscitation, and tube feeding, your quality of life can be such that you'd want to end it all, but you keep on living for years. Even if you live in a state with a “Right to Die” law, you must have specific terminal conditions and you must be declared competitent to make the decision.

That's where Death Insurance from Meoff Insurance Company comes in. While you are of sound mind and body, you can define the conditions under which you would not want to live. You specify specific, measurable criteria that our trained staff monitor on a monthly basis. If and when you meet the criteria you have defined, we send an agent to knock you off, quickly and painlessly using the method of your choice.

You and your family are spared the agony of making the decision to end it all; you'll have already made the decision in advance, just as you have done for your financial matters, advance medical directives (as far as they let you), and your wishes for disposition of your remains. You wouldn't consider not having these in order, why should you leave the most important decision up to chance?

Death Insurance from Meoff Insurance Company is an affordable alternative to years of living beyond minimum acceptable levels, and draining the family's finances. Do you want to end up “like that” or do you want to decide when and how you End It All.

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Sample Death Insurance Certificate

How to Delay the Inevitable and Improve your Quality of Life

We would prefer that you live as long as possible, so that we delay paying our contract employees. So please consider taking some of these actions to improve your quality of life.

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